(2/Many) “I sat at dinner today facing my reflection in the window. I stared at my face and pictured that face under a veil getting married. I imagined that face smiling at her first baby. I imagined that face aging as she saw her child go off to college. But it wasn’t my face. Because lately, I’ve been terrified that I’m going to die."
Hearing of Hayden’s story through mutual friends. I knew I wanted her to be a part of this project. We arrange to meet at a local coffee shop. My hopes are to get a general understanding of who she is.
“Tell me about Hayden. Who are you, and what are you passionate about?”
"I just recently turned 22, and I absolutely love kids.” She’s frozen in a smile. “They’re carelessly happy and refreshing to be around. They live happily in the moment. I dream of being a mother. I dream of having my own family."
“At age 18 I take my passion for kids to Germany where I become a nanny. I stayed with a family and nannied the kids while the parents worked. While I was supposed to be there for a long time. It ended a little quick as the mother got pregnant and was home on paternity leave. They didn’t need a nanny anymore.”
“Not everything goes as planned. I’ve learned to accept that by now. So I was stuck in Europe for a while. While I was scared to be alone, I wasn’t going to waste any time. For a month I traveled to 15 different countries in Europe.”
“It was fun, but I was a different person back then. I was just focusing on myself trying to enjoy something new. I got mixed up with the wrong crowd, the wrong people."
"It ended up hurting me, emotionally."